I mean where do I even start?

This kid is a miracle from conception to delivery, and has an attitude to match that. We tried for 5 years to get pregnant after Jaelei (my oldest, we’ll get there.) with no luck. Two miscarriages, and an ectopic pregnancy with a loss of a tube to go along with it. We had pretty much given up. I was loosing lots of weight and was suddenly gaining for 3 weeks in a row. I was venting to my neighbor about it and he suggested I was pregnant, to which I laughed in his face.

We just accepted that we wouldn’t be able to have more kids. I mean, got rid of all of the baby stuff. Everything. This is apparently a key to getting pregnant after 5 years, toss everything. I was pregnant. I was terrified. That’s probably an understatement, but it was warrented.

I had  a bad feeling my entire pregnancy, from the moment that I saw PREGNANT on the test. The entire time. I was afraid to do anything, leave my house, anything. I was really sure I wouldn’t be having this baby, to the point that I didn’t even buy any baby shit. Nothing. Not one onesie, nothing. The entire pregnancy was normal. No issues. 35 weeks exactly I had a slight ripping sensation, and a bad, bad feeling. That was it. All day this feeling was nagging me, so right before my Dr closed, I called him and he told me to come in. He had two offices, one 10 minutes from my house and one about 40 minutes away, but was under 5 minutes from the hospital. I was annoyed at the time but this is what solidified for me that every damn thing happens for a reason. I even contemplated waiting till the morning to go to the closer office, but I didn’t because that voice told me NOT to.

I got there, immediately start gushing blood. I had my daughter Jaelei with me who was 6 and Tim was working a job far as hell. My Dr. brings me in for an ultra sound, acts cool, but it’s clear it’s not cool. Tells me to go to the hospital so I can be monitored. I get there and they immediately tell me he’s coming out. Now. Without my husband, no family, nothing. Within 7 minutes of me getting to the hospital he was out. I had a full Placental Abruption with zero risk factors, and I almost lost my baby. The first 24 hours were extremely delicate and was told that it ‘wasn’t looking good’. It was really just a drug induced blur for those first bunch of days, and I honestly don’t remember much. He spent 14 days in the NICU and Tim basically had to carry me out of the hospital because I was so fucking devastated. But he pulled through, my true miracle baby.

Now he’s 4 and is the craziest kid I’ve ever met. He was diagnosed with SPD last year, and I just learned that this is something that can come with traumatic births. The most blue eyes I have ever seen and a true mama’s boy. He loves dirt and being dirty, when he want to, on his terms. I am in awe of him every single day and he brings me joy like nothing else.


Want to read more about my family? Go here.