I didn’t touch my camera for a year. And before that? It was about once per month, I’d pick it up, click a few things, hate it, and then not touch it again. I didn’t do what I am most passionate about because I hated every single thing that I shot. Why? Because I wasn’t shooting enough. Do you see the circle?
I was so stuck in this circle. I want to be a better photographer right now. Screw working at it, I want it right now. Needless to say, that was really wrong. I would make every single excuse in the world why I didn’t pick up my camera. I didn’t have the right gear. I couldn’t get to my camera in time. It wouldn’t come out how I wanted it to. Who cares what I am shooting anyway? I just wanted it to magically be better and be where I wanted to be without putting int the time. How fuckin ridiculous….?
2018 is my year of not caring–but in a good way. I don’t care if people like what I’m shooting, or if it’s good enough, or if I am as good as Jane Doe. There is no more comparing myself, and just shooting daily for 10 days I’m seeing changes in myself, my confidence, and I’m getting my passion back for what I have loved for years. It feels so good about it and my heart is so full. All I have ever wanted to do is capture my kids lives, and all of the tiny moments that we forget too quickly.
Some images I will love, some images I will hate, but it will just go hand in hand with getting better. I shot my favorite image of all time the other night, and I couldn’t be happier. If you’re reading this and haven’t picked up your camera in a while? Do it. I promise you won’t regret it.